Coffee for One
The dating front has been pretty barren lately.
A “friend” – and I now use this term loosely – noticed this and excitedly told me about a gentleman she works with. Now my previous experiences have taught me to ask some pointed question to try to avert disaster. The pertinent details I gathered from her were: 1) He was gainfully employed and was good at his job; 2) He was very sweet and always helped her if she needed assistance; 3) He was previously married and had two daughters he loved, and 4) He resembled Bradley Cooper. This sounded promising, so I agreed to let her give him my number.
Several days later I received a text from “Bradley”. Over the next few days, we shared several text conversations. Now, I generally consider conversations a time when people share information back and forth and ask each other questions. In the course of three days and probably 100 text messages, he only asked me two questions. How tall am I? 5’7” turned out to be too short for him because his ex was 6’ and he is 6’4”. But he would still meet with me despite my growth shortcoming. And the second question was about my taste in music – a normal inquiry. But in all the other conversation he never asked me any other questions. I knew a lot about him because I asked lots of questions trying to determine if he saw aliens or had a tendency to run away from dates. But, I guess there is no way to actually determine what someone is like without meeting them.
A midweek, after work coffee date was scheduled. Since I live in the middle of nowhere, I generally have to drive about an hour to any city that would have an appropriate date location. No problem, I arrived in town early and visited with my family. I have to stop telling them when I have dates because they get so excited. To be honest, they are terribly distressed that men want nothing to do with me. It is a source of amusement for me and distress for them.
At the bewitching hour of 6 pm, in pouring rain, I arrived at the coffee shop. Some women like to arrive late and make an entrance. I like to arrive early and observe them as they make an entrance. He had messaged me that he was running late, so I grabbed a coffee and found a table. And then I got the text that he was parking. I was ready for anything…I thought.
And into the coffee shop walks tall gentlemen – Wearing elastic waisted-jeans – make that high-waisted, elastic waisted jeans – with a pleat down the leg and a tucked in polo shirt. I don’t generally think of myself as shallow but will admit to being horrified by his clothing choice. I once read that the first thought we have is dictated by what society has taught us to think, and the second determines who we really are. I’m glad to say my second thought was, it’s okay – maybe it was laundry day…at least the jeans are ironed…
He sits down and barely says hello. I ask him if he is going to order coffee or tea and he says no, and then just sits there. So I take the mantle and start talking to him and asking questions about his work, etc. So, for the next hour and half, we “talked” only when I asked questions. Otherwise we just sat there in awkward silence. I kept up the hope that he would warm up and get more comfortable. That never happened. And did I mention he did not look like Bradley Cooper or even a 7th generation descendent?
By now it was getting darker and still pouring rain, I figured I better get on the road. And escape. Was it my turn to be “The Running Girl?” I explained to him how I wanted to get home before it got too dark because driving on the freeway, in a Prius, in the rain with the semi’s can be a challenge. I guess that was the wrong thing to say. Once I said I was leaving, he pulled out his phone, started playing with it, and never said another word to me. He didn’t even look up as I said goodbye.
My poor family – they were so excited to hear about the date hoping that I wasn’t the embarrassment of a child that I seemed to be. But alas, for them, I am still single. I’m not sure what I should say I learned from this date. Obviously don’t trust Naomi to set me up on any more dates! Don’t date when it is raining? Definitely don’t tell my family about future dates. I don’t know. But I can’t help but think that elastic waisted jeans do not bode well for a fun time on a date. Lesson Learned! Love is a battlefield!
