Lessons from a Teacher
I have been having a bit of a dry spell as far as dating.
But I have discovered that if you are a guy and want to find a girlfriend, go out with me once or twice and then you will find her rather quickly. Of the last 7 guys I have gone out with, 6 of them had a steady girlfriend within two months after we last went out. I have the magic touch…for someone else.
But this spell lets me reflect on the many interesting experiences. Lucky me. I had forgotten about a particular date I had a few years ago until I sat and did some reflection. Not that it was a date to brag about, but it certainly was one to remember.
During one of my adventuresome periods where I tried dating web sites, I found a guy who was an elementary school teacher. It brought to mind a warm kindhearted person who must certainly have a sense of humor and must be smart enough to carry on a good conversation. It sounded promising.
So a date was arranged at a fun little restaurant in Pasadena. He arrives 30 minutes late, and explains that traffic and parking was bad – fair point, this is Los Angeles after all. As we are ordering, he begins criticizing me because I am vegan. Now, here in Texas, I get harassed a lot, but I usually never did in LA. But, it’s all good. -Many people have never considered the vegan lifestyle. And now, the time comes for us to get to know one another.
I ask some basic questions about his background, job, and family and it seems to be going okay. He hadn’t asked me any questions up to this point.
Then, he looks me in the eye and starts yelling at me while slamming the table with his fists.
“Do you think O.J. was guilty?” I look confused for a second, until he slams the table again. “Do you think Michael Jackson was guilty?” By now, other diners are staring at our table because he is yelling and his slams are rattling our glasses on the table. “Do you think Kobe was guilty?” I’m a little nervous to answer because he seems so angry. I’m trying to quickly review what I said to trigger the outburst but I can’t pinpoint anything.
I figure the best approach was to answer with my honest opinion. But before I can answer, he yells, “They are all guilty!” Again, I hesitantly begin to respond but he continues his tirade. “And you,” he says, “Would you go out with a teacher or are you a gold digger?” He can’t be serious. I finally get a word in and mention that I knew what he did before the date, so obviously I would.
At this point, the server arrives with our food and asks if everything is okay.
The gentleman says he is fine, and I shrug my shoulders. He begins to eat and then commences insulting my food. At this juncture, I realize I just better leave. In an attempt at politeness, I eat a few bites of my food and then ask for a to go box. The waiter brings us the separate bills I requested and I make a hasty, relatively unscathed retreat.
This was another time I should have enlisted the help of the wait staff to facilitate my escape, a lesson I later learned (See Dating Tips). It is ingrained in many women to be polite at all cost, and this can lead to dangerous situations for some women. They can tolerate dangerous behavior because they don’t want to “risk” seeming rude. I never felt endangered, but if I did, I would not hesitate to be rude for my safety. But I should have left the situation earlier because it was not enjoyable and I should not tolerate that behavior.
Alas, the next day I receive a text from aforementioned gentleman. He tells me, he had a wonderful time and hopes we can go out again! WHAT!?!?!?!? Was I in a parallel universe? Did I miss something? I politely declined and never answered another text from him. To this day, I really have no idea what I missed. This experience shows how two people can see and hear the same thing but not experience or understand it the same way. Our life experiences affect the way we interpret things being said and done. We grow when we realize this and try to step outside our experiences and understand others. It explains a lot. It doesn’t explain my weird life, but it does explain some things.
